Time to move on
by sixbynine
Summary: Kakashi is by the memorial stone again, remembering the past..i suspect this summary sightly spoils the 'surprise' pairing ¬.¬


che bad ranchan i'm supposed to be writing the next chapter for generations instead i do this... :slaps self: i also just got stepmania so i'm a little distracted by that and then i was like i'm gonna do a poster for my friends bday, so i'm desperatly scanning in and colouring chibis then this oneshot like attacked me in my sleep..., it was gonna be a little kidna sweet non smut (implied smut though XD) short story thing..and then it got longer and smuttier..bleh

anyways enjoyXD

* * *

We were together, and that was all that mattered to us, each other's happiness above our own. In the end, I suspect, that was what ended it.

I wish you could be here now, in a time so much more accepting of people like us, we wouldn't have to hide we wouldn't have to dodge the barbed comments and dirt thrown at us. I miss those quiet nights we spent together, carefully sneaking out of our respective houses and away, well outside the village. It took me so long to work out why you wanted _me _there, out of all the people you knew and counted precious to you, I annoyed you the most, I was the most different. Of course it still took a very obvious gesture on your part to make me understand,

¬.¬ flashback ¬.¬

_It was easy for him to escape and slip into the night, his ninja training made evasion almost second nature to him. Catching sight of his friend he waved and walked over, the boy smiled,_

"_Kakashi" the boy said smiling "Your late"_

_Kakashi shrugged "Woke up late, I was training all day"_

"_I know, I was there remember?" the other boy laughed "come on, we've still got several hours and there's something I want you to see" _

_Kakashi poked his tongue out at him and followed him over the Konoha wall, neither of them talking until they reached their destination._

_Settling down under the trees on their back they lay in a comfortable silence like most nights neither felt the need to talk just happy to lay there outside the confines of the village knowing there was someone else there,_

"_So what was it you wanted to show me?" Kakashi said sitting up and peering at the other boy_

_He laughed "Patience, it won't be long"_

_Kakashi lay back down sighing, patience was never his strong point_

"_Look" came a quiet voice and he followed the finger pointing at the sky, slowly Kakashi began to see stars moving around in the sky, falling to the earth it seemed, he sat up again his mouth opened. It was rare for the sky to be so clear over this area, and it was also rare for the meteor shower to happen, Kakashi had never seen it before,_

"_That's beautiful," he said staring at the sky "How did you know it was going to happen?"_

"_I heard my parents talking about it" came the reply much closer than before and Kakashi turned to see the boy coming closer and resting his head on his shoulder, surprisingly Kakashi didn't feel the urge to push him off like he would do with any other person._

"_Hmm" Kakashi mumbled and carried on watching the sky as the stars continued to fall_

_They fell back into silence, silently sitting close to each other watching as the sky fell apart,_

"_Kakashi" came a small voice "Do you know why I ask you to come here ever night?"_

_Kakashi looked down at this friend "No, I keep meaning to ask" he said simply _

_The boy sat up and faced Kakashi "I ask you here because I was hoping you'd notice, every night I tell myself 'tonight he'll notice me' but your dense as usual so I've given in I'm going to be as obvious as I can"_

_Kakashi opened his mouth to protest against being called dense and found it covered with a pair of soft lips pressing gently into him, he suddenly became aware of hands moving up his sides and tangling in his hair, and then of a deep heat centring itself in his stomach_

"_Do you understand now?" the boy asked breaking the kiss and sitting back his hand still resting on Kakashi's shoulders_

"_But why?" Kakashi asked, "Why risk it? Your family will disown you, they can't afford to have people like that in their clan it would lower them"_

"_I don't care" he said, "I just want you"_

_Kakashi blinked "but why?" he whispered still not believing "no one want's me my family is a disgrace."_

_The boy came closer again "because I love you" he said and pressed his lips against Kakashi's again "and that's all that matters"_

yay its over XD

Even now that night still makes me so angry, it was taken from us before we'd even started really, so angry the world didn't see fit to let us have at least a few years of happiness together.

The world around us was not accepting of our new found happiness, we knew we lived in a time when you were normal or you were outcast, but childishly we thought we would somehow be special. We had heard rumours and stories of boys and girls like us being cast out, some even being killed, so we kept quiet, we chose our moments carefully and made sure to kept our relationship a secret.

Slowly we began to forget though, in the palaces we felt safe, and eventually she found us together. We had snuck off from the training and you had me pressed against a tree. Your hands had pushed up my T-shirt and were tracing patterns on my stomach whilst your lips pressed against mine like you were never getting the chance again, that was how we lived then; like every moment could be our last. She had been sent to find us, both of us were too distracted to notice her walking into the clearing, the first sign we got was when she let out a cry and we broke apart to see her running back to the village.

Luckily she hadn't told anyone, aware of the danger, despite her deep misgivings she valued us alive far more. She refused to talk to either of us for months after, giving us disapproving glares whenever we left together. Eventually our sensei noticed the changes and the friction between us, he also noticed they were at there worst when she saw us leave together, so he followed us and eventually discovered as well.

Although we were now far more careful, limiting ourselves to my house, which was always empty or outside Konoha after dark, our sensei always had the unnerving ability to see through things and figure them out. It didn't take him long to confront us, fearing the worst we prepared to be thrown out of the academy and possibly Konoha. Instead he told us he was proud of us and he was happy for us, he also gave a strict warning that it wasn't to interfere with our training. So we carried on as we always had we trained harder than ever and we snuck out each night to lay next to each in comfortable silence, both contented with desperate kisses and the softness of anothers flesh under their hand.

It wasn't long before others started to notice us though, we had the dirt thrown in our faces, the shouts that followed down the street and the angry letters written on our walls. It was times like this I wished I could escape just leave Konoha and never come back, I worked harder and harder to achieve rank enough to do so, and eventually I succeeded,

flash back ¬.¬

"_Well done Kakashi" came the voice from behind him, shivers ran up his spine every time he heard that voice and this was no different. Turning he greeted the boy pulling him into his arms and pressing his lips to his_

"_I wasn't sure you'd make it, I heard you got into a bit of trouble with your parents" Kakashi said looking worried, he knew he was the cause of the trouble, the boys parents had recently heard the rumours surrounding them_

_The boy shrugged "It was nothing I just lied, told them the other kids were jealous because I was training with you more"_

_Kakashi smiled but his eyes were sad "I wish we didn't have to lie" he said_

"_We won't have to for much longer, You're a Jounin now I will be soon as well, we won't spend much time in the village. I've heard Konoha is the only place that still treats people like this. We could go to Suna and work there as ambassadors or to one of the other villages" _

_Kakashi smiled "Yeah, you need to train harder though or you're never gonna make it" he laughed settling himself down on the cool grass the boy sat down behind him and wrapped his legs around Kakashi's waist pulling him into his chest_

"_Tonight, lets forget about training and me becoming Jounin, tonight is your present for getting so far" the boy murmured into his back. "You know once you get missions of your own whilst I'm still Chuunin we won't see much of each other, and with the war…" the boy left it hanging but the implication was clear; now Kakashi was Jounin he could be sent out to fight tomorrow and never come back. Now even more than ever they had to live like it was their last night_

_Kakashi's breath quickened as pale hands traced patterns down his torso and lifted at the hem of the shirt he was wearing, callused fingers pulled at the hem slipping underneath and sharp teeth bit at his ear lobe. Kakashi leant back into the chest behind him lifting his face upwards seeking the lips he knew were so close, they met gently and Kakashi turned round meeting them harder slipping his tongue inside the other mouth. In return Kakashi was pushed to the ground his top pulled over his head and wet kisses placed down his chest,_

"_Wait" he said breathlessly and the boy stopped "Is this…can we…are you…"Kakashi wasn't sure how to voice his concerns_

"_It's ok, there's nothing wrong with this" came the reassuring voice "unless you want to stop?"_

_Kakashi shook his head, he knew he didn't want to stop he just wasn't sure if he wanted everything_

"_If you want to stop say it, I won't go anywhere you're not happy"_

_Kakashi nodded and pulled him up to press kiss into him his tongue slipping in-between his lips, whilst his hands removed the blue shirt the boy was wearing_

_A small laugh escaped from the boy_

"_What?" demanded Kakashi_

"_Nothing, its just the reluctance then the over anxious-ness, I find your moods amusing, in a good way"_

_Kakashi grunted "thanks"_

"_Oh shh, tonight is for you remember?"_

"_Oh like your not getting anything out of it"_

"_Well…" the boy shrugged grinning, he kissed Kakashi nose and pushed him back onto the floor, his hands trailing down the pale skin to his trousers, fingers pulled open the button and pulled down the zipper slowly. The friction cause Kakashi to moan and arch into the touch_

"_Told you you'd like it" the trousers were discarded and his boxers soon followed. Kakashi had never had a problem with being naked around other people, but something about the way his boyfriend stared at him made him uncomfortable, the single mindedness, like everything was being memorised, which it probably was._

"_You're beautiful, you know" he said quietly "even these little scars just make you even better"_

_Kakashi blushed "it's not fair you know, me being naked and you not" he moved his hands to the top of the trousers and slowly undid them, fully intending to draw it out as long as possible, the boy moaned and pushed into Kakashi's hands _

"_You're cruel"_

"_You did it to me"_

_The trousers were discarded and Kakashi was surprised to find a lack of pants, he raised an eyebrow_

"_I knew where I was going tonight" was the only reply he got before he was pushed into the grass again the feel of warm skin pressing down on him, he could feel their arousal pressing into each other and he pushed upwards desperately seeking more. Fingers wrapped them selves around him and moved slowly, following the example he copied the movement watching the boy's reactions and trying to control himself at the same time. The hand was removed and Kakashi let out a small noise,_

"_Shh it'll get better now" came the reply and he felt fingers pressing into him, he grimaced as he was stretched_

"_How is this better?"_

"_Geez, patience was never you're strong point was it?"_

_Kakashi did notice that he was right though, the gentle movement of his fingers did feel good, he shot upwards suddenly, especially when he did that._

_He looked over at his boyfriend and got a smirk in return "told you" he felt the fingers being removed and something much larger being pressed into him_

"_This might hurt" came the warning Kakashi nodded, somehow he knew_

_He clenched his jaw as he was stretched before relaxing allowing himself to get used to the feeling "move" he said "I'm fine"_

_Slowly a rhythm was established, Kakashi clinging to the taller boy his nails making small indents in the skin of his shoulders. He moaned as the same spot was hit over and over again, and when a hand was wrapped around him, it was enough to send him over the edge. He cried out and tensed as he came, the sticky mess clinging to their chests, he clung to the other as he climaxed shortly after, releasing into Kakashi. Breathlessly they clung to each other sweat mingling and pooling on them, before they lay down exhausted in each other's arms their clothes covering them and keeping them warm. _

_Kakashi curled up in strong arms, already falling asleep, he heard the quiet_

"_I love you" before the boy fell asleep, to soon to hear Kakashi's whispered reply_

"_I love you to"_

End

I remember the morning after that with amusement now, although it was a source of embarrassment for many years. Our sensei had come to find us to tell us of our mission, the first one I had as a Jounin, needless to say he found us lying together in each other's arms. Surprisingly his only comment was to say it was better we did it now than regret not doing it later. It always surprised me how accepting he was.

What followed was the worst day of my life, I lost my best friend and my lover, and it was my fault you died, Obito, mine. I still remember the feel of your hands on my shoulders; I had started to turn to see what you wanted and then I was on the floor watching as the rubble crushed you. I held onto the hope for days afterwards that it wasn't real, that I was dreaming, the world seemed so empty and it wasn't fair. Even now I still can't quite let go of you, everyday I come here hoping that somehow your name won't be on that stone, that somehow you'll still be alive and everyday I find it still etched into the stone next to Minato's.

I still think about the life we could have had together, maybe we would have moved to one of the other villages eventually, or just travelled. Maybe we would have stayed in Konoha once we saw how much more accepting it was. It took me a long time to move on almost 20 years in fact, so many people tried to get close to me and each of them was pushed away.

He managed to succeed somehow, he ignored every hint I gave I wanted to be left alone and continued to push into my life. I'm glad in a way that he's here now, that he accepts I still love you and will never get over that, but a small part of me still feels like I'm betraying you and he knows this to and it worries him. Maybe he thinks I'll just leave one day and never come back, maybe he thinks I'll remember the reason I didn't want someone else to love and care about and leave him,

"Kakashi" I smile he's found me right when I'm doubting myself and on the verge or breaking down; he always does

"Sasuke" I murmur as he threads his arms around me, they are nothing like yours despite the family relation. He is thin and pale, looking almost like he would snap. You were hard, tanned and strong, you managed to remove any trace of dominance from me and replace it with a submission that I was happy to give. He makes me feel in control and gives me the dominance I need not to break whenever he touches me.

We tried it the other way round once, I thought maybe it would be like our first time, but he's to shy and unsure of himself, I am to over bearing and instead of submitting I constantly told him what to do. It wasn't an unpleasant experience, but it was nothing like the fire we had when I was in control. Maybe with time we will grow more comfortable with each other more willing to change roles.

"You're thinking again," he says quietly into my ear, his breath tickling me

"Mmm" I grunt noncommittally, he knows the answer to that question

"You shouldn't, I told you it's bad for you" he laughs slightly and pulls my head away from the stone bringing our eyes level "come on we're waiting for you, if you don't hurry Sakura's gonna start beating on Naruto"

I laugh "something's never change do they? Our first get together for almost 5 years and I'm late, your trying to find me and Sakura and Naruto are annoying each other"

Sasuke laughs "Yeah, just like the old days, 'cept Sakura's getting married, Naruto's settled down in Suna with Gaara and you and I are hiding a relationship"

I look at Sasuke, on my request he has lived with me in secret for almost 3 years, ever since we retrieved him from Akatsuki. When we started to see each other I was afraid of what others would say, with thirteen years between us and of course the student-teacher thing and then Sasuke being much hated around Konoha for leaving. Then slowly those reasons faded away as I realised the village wouldn't care, and the true reason came out, I was afraid by admitting our relationship it would be real and then Obito would mean nothing. I was afraid that by telling Sasuke about Obito he would feel I was replacing one Uchiha with another, so I kept us a secret, eventually telling Sasuke about Obito but still unwilling to admit it to the village. I remember Sasuke laughing when I told him about Obito and telling me I must have a thing for Uchiha's before calmly switching back on the TV and settling down in my lap. I guess he has a point.

"Maybe we should stop hiding," I say quietly and he freezes as though he thinks he's heard wrong

"Seriously?" he asks unsure

I nod, and I can honestly say I have no regrets about this, you were my first love you were the person who introduced me to the concept of others and having precious people whom you would lay down your life for. But Sasuke is here and now and he is every bit as precious to me as you were and suddenly I don't want another secret relationship. I want the world to know how much I love him, and I want that before it's to late and this happiness is taken from me too

"Seriously" I reply holding onto your hand "I'm still coming to see him everyday though" I say warning Sasuke that I'll still be late to everything

"I know," he says "I do get it"

"I know" I reply in kind "that's why I love you" and we begin to walk slowly to where we can hear Sakura yelling at Naruto about something and Naruto yelling back that it wasn't his fault.

Something's never change, others do. Its time I learnt to move on.

* * *

hehe Kakashi has an uchiha fetishXD, i've not read kakashi gaiden so anything i know about obito, rin, the fourth etc is all from wikipedia...sorry if there are any errors in the timeline/characteriastion of obito/actual events...i think it's pretty accurate but i tend to go screw canon adn write my own events in XD

in case you were wondering Sakura is getting married to Lee...because they DESERVE each other XD i'm a mean person... my friends pointed out that no one deserves Lee but Sakura really does...i don't like her btw XD i have nothing against Lee but he is pretty silly...i mean green and yellow??together??? in spandex!?!?

yesh Naruto and Gaara are together XD i adore this pairing, yet so far have managed to not right a single fic for it :( i do have a nice Gaara chibi though...wearing Naruto's sleeping cap XD

so yeah...does anyone actually read this bit??


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